My Journey Home

“I have called you by name, you are Mine”—Isaiah 43:1

I was 15 years old when I first heard the Lord call out to me. Eight years later, He welcomed me home.

I grew up in a home without religion. We never talked about God or even recognized the possibility of His existence. Instead, we focused on what we could see right in front of us. Every decision and lesson was practical and came from a place of understanding that it was simply “the right thing.” But the problem with having good morals without religion is that it gives you no real reason for why you should hold to them. For the majority of my life, I followed the supposed right way of living, but I was still left searching for a reason behind it all.

I remember the first time I became aware that there may actually be a reason, or at least an explanation, for the way we all aim to carry out our lives. It was the first time I recognized that there were pieces missing in my understanding of the world. I was 15 years old when I heard His name. I had never paid attention to it before, but on that day, the world seemed to get a little less blurry.

Jesus.

I had walked up to some friends who were in the middle of a conversation. They were talking about their faith and one of them spoke His name with so much admiration and love that it shocked me. I had always thought of Him the way I would think of a child’s imaginary friend. And yet, through her, He had finally caught my attention and opened my heart just enough to plant the first seed of truth.

In that same moment, though, I doubt anyone could see the changes that were beginning to take place within me. I felt myself throwing up defenses and pretending that nothing was different. But the thing about our Lord is that once He opens your eyes, you cannot close them again. He had planted a seed in my heart and mind that would grow quietly over the next few years before it finally sprouted, leading me to walk through a set of church doors my senior year of high school.

I went out of respect for my friend’s family, whose house I had stayed at the night before, and also because of that hint of curiosity that never really went away. It was a small non-denominational church in Kansas, but not so small that I felt like I was intruding. The pastor got up and made the Gospel feel approachable and welcoming despite my ignorance. Still, I felt like an outsider as I realized there was another layer to the world that everyone else seemed to know about except me. I could tell that the seed He planted was still there, but my lack of understanding kept me at a distance until He showed me the way home just a few years later.

During my sophomore year of college, I found myself in an Ethics course that took hold of my mind in a way I had never experienced before. I fell in love with the pursuit of wisdom and learning all I could about the unseen world-the world we all feel is there but do not always take the time to truly think about. Within the first week of classes, I decided to major in philosophy, and I never turned back. I loved the clarity that came with seeking and arriving at an explanation through reason. I loved the sense of assurance that came from understanding the way we are called to live. And I loved the knowledge that there was something beyond myself. Philosophy became my path toward discovering what that something was.

We are all searching for truth-the reality of what truly exists. I believe there is a path to finding it, but only through the grace of God and faith in Him, who opens our hearts and minds to it. We are all veiled by our own understanding of the world because we can only see and experience life through our own perspective. I believe, however, that truth is found only once we step outside ourselves and see the world through His eyes rather than our own. Studying philosophy taught me to pursue truth, but faith revealed it to me. I studied all the major religions, looking for the right one-the true one. Where I found holes and contradictions in others, I found answers in Christianity. Through reason, I found myself being called back to the same place He had been leading me all along.

But to my surprise, the search did not end there. I had arrived at Christianity as the one true religion, and yet I still found so much division among what Christians claimed that truth to be. Knowing there can only be one truth-and that God Himself is Truth-my pursuit continued as I searched for where I would find Him in the fullest and most complete way.

I started with what was comfortable and seemingly the most popular expression of Christianity and became a devout non-denominational Christian. For a while, I was satisfied to continue studying philosophy and connecting my studies with the sermons I heard on Sundays. There was still so much I did not know, so I would read about the philosophies of different religions in class and then learn the stories of the Bible from my pastor on Sundays, trusting that what was being preached was true.

But over time, I started to lose trust. The non-denominational services I attended were centered around praise through music and teaching through sermons. I would attend each Sunday hoping to learn more about who and what I had placed my faith in. But after attending different non-denominational churches, I began to notice that every pastor was teaching something different-or not teaching doctrine at all. I realized I did not truly know what Christians believed because Christians themselves were being taught different things.

Further, I started to realize that my experience at church depended on whether the pastor taught me something new or profound. Some Sundays I left feeling strengthened in faith, while other Sundays I left having gained nothing at all. I felt that church in this way had become something that existed for me-what it or my pastor could do for me-rather than what I was offering to God.

I wanted to find the true way Christ calls us to live as His followers and a place where church was more than a service, but a place of true worship. As I said above, if we want to find the truth, we must step outside ourselves and look at the world through His eyes-including what we consider as normal or popular.

What was not normal for me, or for most people I knew at the time, was Catholicism. I knew almost nothing about the Catholic Church beyond the stereotypes I had picked up over the years. In some ways, I think this made my journey easier because I did not have deeply rooted misconceptions about Catholic teachings to overcome when I finally began looking into them.

When I found myself becoming lost and confused by the overwhelming number of Christian denominations, I decided to start from the beginning. There are 2,000 years of Church history to learn from, and yet every church I had attended before the Catholic Church seemed to be trying to reinvent the truth. So I started with the medieval theologians and then went back even farther to the Early Church Fathers, trying to understand what Christ taught and how those teachings were lived throughout history. I began reading Scripture through a Jewish lens and seeing the greater story that ties all of history together, including the way we still fit into it today.

What I learned from this journey is that God’s plans are far bigger and more beautiful than I had ever imagined, and that we can become as much a part of them as we dare to be.

Through my studies, several divinely inspired events, and the Lord’s grace, my eyes were opened to the Truth, Beauty, and Goodness of the Catholic Church. After eight years of searching for the true Kingdom, I was finally welcomed home at St. Luke Catholic Church when I was brought into full communion with Christ and His Church on the evening of March 30, 2024, at the Easter Vigil.

Having experienced the discomfort, confusion, misunderstanding, fear, and loneliness of my own journey home, I understand the feelings that you and so many others may have while pursuing the truth Christ brought into this world. I promise you that the thorns of the rose are worth its beauty, and that the joy and fullness of life you will feel when you arrive will overcome it all.

There is a brightness to the world that I never knew before I opened my heart to Christ’s holy Church. Through these reflections, prayers, and resources, it is my hope that you, too, would open your heart and experience the fullness of love that the Lord desires for you in this life.

With love and my deepest prayers for you all,

Makensie Blum